A Look Back: Two Years Since Studying Abroad

Two years ago to the day (February 5), I was somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, on my way to New Zealand for the adventure of a lifetime.  I’d done research, so I knew, more or less, what to expect regarding the climate, language, clothing, animals, etc.  However, no amount of research could prepare me for being halfway around the world from everyone I knew or how much I was going to learn.  Not everything I discovered is easily articulated with words; not everything I discovered was a conscious discovery; but I know the experiences helped me grow personally. 

Since returning, especially in recent months, I find myself thinking about “pre-New Zealand Bethany” and “post-New Zealand Bethany.”  I look the same physically, but mentally I changed a lot in those five months abroad.  The biggest change being that I feel like a much smaller part of the world but a more lively part.  I glimpsed just how big and diverse the world is, which made me feel insignificant; more insignificant than knowing I’m one person in 7 billion on Earth.  Despite always having a sense of adventure and enjoying exploring new places; these emotions don’t compare with the lively desires that have since replaced them.  Traveling the world no longer seems like a distant dream but something accomplishable because wanderlust tugs at my soul, begging to be released and allowed to take me somewhere new.

My burning desire to travel opened my mind to the world and everything it has to offer, leaving me bored with everyday activities I once enjoyed.  Instead I’ve realized there are simpler, finer activities; activities that would have bored “pre-New Zealand Bethany.”  Walking through the city just to see what’s there is now a thoroughly enjoyable pastime, as is relishing in the culture of local establishments.  My love of running has transformed from being just a workout to a means of exploring my neighborhood.  New Zealand really helped me prove to myself that trying new things isn’t as terrifying, nerve racking, and difficult as I once thought.  The list of new foods and experiences is a lengthy one, and I don’t regret trying a single thing.  If I keep myself closed off from the world (even from the city) around me, I’ll never “learn things [I] never knew [I]never knew” (Colors of the Wind, Pocahontas).

I also met so many wonderful people while traveling.  Some of whom I’m still friends with while others I’m not; either way, we still enjoyed the adventures we had together.  Simultaneously, I rediscovered a balance with alone time.  For the first time, I’d wander around the city, peruse museum exhibits, go shopping, etc alone and didn’t feel like a loner.  I was accustomed to being on my own and doing things myself, but these are activities usually done in groups, and activities I’d only done in groups.  I’ve since extended this list of activities to movies because if I really want to see a movie than why shouldn’t I go see it.  Sometimes all my friends are busy, especially during the semester, but I wasn’t going to let that dictate what activities I partake in.

Opening up, putting myself out there, and taking advantage of every possible opportunity while I was abroad enhanced many of my already existing characteristics by removing the constant questioning “what if.”  I continue to abide by this and keep “what if” at arm’s length.  So in an attempt to precisely articulate what I wouldn’t have found no matter how many hours I researched and what coincidentally led to the most adventures: forget the “what if” and just go for it.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” –Steve Jobs.